Raimz..or is it Rhymes?

I was just sitting and staring at the roof (Tuesday after lunch is mighty boring) and this lady next to me starts humming some old nursery tune (don't ask me why!..si there's a skamares tune guys dunda to in the clubs nowadays..so don't judge). Anyway as she mumbled the words, I was almost bursting out laughing...It was one of those moments you like balance the pressures edging you into laughter but you are controlling your midriff so to nullify the urge, or those "I'm about to sneeze" moments where you go like letting it out, but it doesn't.
So she goes..."Baa baa blacksheep...any any woo...."...(I know you are balancing that laughter....just let it out heh heh heh!). I did dash to some room holding my phone on my ear and laughing hysterically feigning laughter at a "joke" from the other end of the all to clearly silent line ( I am sure she doesn't know who the joke was on).

It got me wondering to myself...what on earth was that I used to sing when I was a brat in nursery school? Not that I wasn't guilty of messing out that particular rhyme..."Yessah yessah three bags fuuuu....One for the master, one for the deee..one for the little boy who Lizz down the leeee", and my favourite part..."meeeeeeh, meeeeh, meeeeh..." It was fun back then. We were oblivious of what we were saying and just enjoying the melody and the moment...growing up was such fun! It was however embarrassing that this mis-pronunciation of what appears to be common words to others actually extended to high skool and campo for some reason...I recall my pal Charles from seco confiscating and hiding some pages I tore from my biology book in which I was busy writing the phonetic representation of what my Bio teacher would say as she dictated notes in class..."golygosidic bond". I innocently wrote "golygosidic bonds". My pals were in stitches when they took my notebook to copy notes and noted the not so typo typo (if you know what I mean)......"It is glycosidic bond", I was told. How the hell was I supposed to know then (and herein comes my confession...I was anti text book reading back then as I have been most of my life..so no I didn't confirm on any text book what she was trying to put across..her dictation was enough). Anyways I am sure most people pronounce epitome as eh-pit-om forgive my lack of knowledge of how to represent sounds. So while you sound all swagged up trying to sound all Victorian and stuff, the correct pronounciation I was informed back in High school is actually eh-pit-oh-me...(gotations are in order.....had to use that one :-P)
So though I was busy laughing at the grown-ass chick singing a nursery rhyme all wrong, it's not like we master everything we think we know and understand. I keep an open mind..am a quack engineer, quack-ish accountant I think and average Kenyan (so I tell myself) then proceed from my base and try to improve myself. Life is a learning process as is language. Though it was hilarious, I think the lady needs to be cut some slack and al e-mail an anonymous link to the lyrics.

Precipitating madness - tales of a few drops of rain in Nairobi

It appears like my writing has trickled to like a post a month....well I guess I have not been given the benefit of those few minutes to let my creative juices flow and express themselves. I must say it's been a while since I was involved in those annoying traffic snarl-ups that characterise a Nairobi population sooo scared of the rain you'd think it's the dreaded Al Qaeda or their more chicken wannabe Somali counterparts, the Al Shabaab threatening an attack on them. It's as though they'd react and melt or violently react with the rain if it touched them....We are a certain percentage sodium I guess!
Friday was such a day....It rained like we was in the Amazon and the malady that the weather brings befell our dear Nairobians...My workaholic self stayed behind in the office to try and reduce my chances of having to work over the weekend by quelling a few fires that were threatening to mess it up for me. So between 4 and 7.30pm (when I finally left the office), I kept busy slaving away. I kept seeing updates on twitter and workmates calling to complain about the parking lot that our roads were slowly turning into, especially those unfortunate enough to have been on Mombasa road. I offered them the only assistance I could at the time (Mu ha ha ha ha ha ha! ....ok am working on that evil laugh..it will come worry not!)..Anyway just before I left the office I scanned the roads round the office on Upper Hill all clear I thought as I mapped my exit heading for NPC Valley road. I had no plans yet. That was to be decided once I picked someone I had promised to pick at 8pm (Only the government thinks that far ahead!...coolest but true saying that I am not sure who came up with...thanx Anonymous!) Anyway so I get onto Haile Selasssie Avenue, heading towards KNH, oblivious of the racket on the roads up ahead...The road was clear upto the National Library roundabout (or so I thought), and before I knew it I had joined the parking lot. For 25 minutes I did not move an inch and it was getting annoying. By some magic the vehicles on my lane started turning and heading back into town (the other side of the road was very empty and there is a certain liberating feeling one gets of movement....any movement!). So I decided to go back down to the NSSF junction and try going round via Integrity cCentre and use the back-route that "toklezeas" at Slims on Lenana road. Surprisingly I went through that stretch pretty fast, and by 8.15pm (yes I was late...). I was there parked on the gravel outside NPC.
Now it was crunch time...the government had to decide, no procrastinating excuse...So out came madam and the question I had no immediate answer to popped...."So where do we go?". Seeing that it was a parking lot all around, any answer would fly I thought..."Up Lenana road to Junction...maybe if we get stuck in between we can just branch off into Caribana and wait for traffic to ease!" Anyway the cars looked like they were kind of moving, so off we left to join the parking lot procession..That was 8.30pm. We were at Caribana 1 km away at 9.30pm or thereabouts and snaked along the remaining 2kms of Lenana road reaching the end of that road at like 11pm...Not that I was complaining thaaaat much.It was great company, and I honestly wouldn't mind getting stuck in traffic with the same person again.
Anyway as we were cursing our luck..it was quite late and we were still on the road. Out of nowhere a fellow suffering "mheshimiwa" , the last person I'd expect to see stuck in traffic as well pops from behind. Now him being one of the few "waheshimiwas" with chase cars and some semblance of a motorcade in Kenya, he is not used to traffic jam, let alone parking in the road like the rest of us. So his security detail, in the interest of securing the safety of their charge, were busy clearing and making way fro him (Bless you Wiper)...So like the true Kenyan, immediately his motorcade passed, we dovetailed onto the motorcade and on came the hazards as we followed his motorcade out of the parking lot...We made it to Junction in record time I must admit. That side of town surprisingly had zilch traffic. I guess everyone in Nairobi was stuck around KNH, Mbagathi, Mombasa road or somewhere on Ngong road.
Anyway, suffice to say I never went back using that route on my way home. I preferred the longer route round Karen onto Lang'ata road which took me just 25 minutes after I had dropped my company for the evening home.
Anyway heard some people slept on Mombasa road from Daystar that night, so I think Wiper doesn't just clear the rain from your windshields, but clears the road ahead for those of us stuck in traffic

P.S. I in no way whatsoever endorse the political inclinations or support any political party other than Gor Mahia which is a movement, a calling, a lifestyle and a fashion statement! heh heh heh!

Wake me up when September ends..

It is September, and like it always does, it never ceases to dish out tragedy after another. 9/11, ....ok most of them actually happened in August if you ask me, but surely in a span of a few days, East Africa is hit by two tragedies of great proportions. Hundreds have lost their lives for things that are easily preventable. The overloaded ferry in Zanzibar, the pipeline flames in Lunga lunga road.....somehow human greed intertwined with weak enforcement agencies have contributed to the two tragedies.
I however ask myself, do we ever learn from these tragedies or is it a case of "since the tree fell on someone else not me, al continue hanging around lumberjacks as they clear the forests"..Sachangwan tragedy where several people lost their lives trying to scoop fuel from a tanker did not happen very long ago....and how many times have we been warned about overloading?...That's why I respect airlines. You wouldn't see someone standing in a plane even for a half hour flight just coz there is some space on the aisle and the plane can take the weight. Rules and regulations have their own purpose and whoever sat down and put some thought into them before making them mandatory had reason to do so. The engineers who estimate safety limits and give guidelines know why they give them...don't argue with them.
However I must admit it is quite sad, human life is very precious and it shouldn't be lost just like that. We also  hear of heroic human beings as well on the other hand, like the fishermen who were out rescuing victims of the ferry disaster or the fellow who swam for four hours to reach the shore....the people who are donating blood and blankets for the fire victims, etc.
My hope is one day we would appreciate, understand and embrace the advise of professionals in whatever we do. Let the architects and structural engineers advise you on buildings, let the accountants do their jobs advising you on finance stuff, follow safety engineers advise on fire hazards and let the Electrical Engineer draw up the design for your house wiring,etc. One day we shall be at the point where we will value this advise. it is more expensive not taking it. As for now, the only thing left for us to give out is sincere condolences to those who were affected by the tragedies and a little prayer for the difficult times.

#My 5 Links

Though I never really keep my blog "out there".(I find it therapeutic just ranting on my own canvas of choice when I feel like letting out a bit of steam) Anyway, here goes......

Most Popular Post:

Interestingly enough it is my blogg on my hike up Mt. Kilimanjaro, Gillman's point, Stella's point,....Uhuru!  , I think ya'll should try that hike.

Post That Didn’t Get The Attention It Deserved:

I am not sure I should have this coz I wasn't sure I wanted a lot of attention on some of the write-ups. I tend to be cryptic in some of my blogs, maybe one day someone will find out what I was really trying to say :-)..But the vote goes to  Missionary, mercenary or misfit, The circumstances that made me write it (true story) was profoundly touching and made me question human behaviour at times.

Post Whose Success Surprised Me:

This surely goes to El Klassiko . I don't think many people are avid followers of the local derbies, but you just have to be at the stadium to experience one of Kenya's unique game-day actions. The terraces have some of the most memorable actions you'll get anywhere...

My Most Controversial Post:

Controversy you say?...Well that has to be Feb the 14th....I think it is always a controversial topic especially for some brotherz

Post I Am Most Proud Of:

I felt a sense of satisfaction (with a tinge of eeevvviiill :-P writing this one)..For ye who get bullied on the Nairobi roads, i think you would have smiled at yourself at the outcome...That surely goes to Internal combustion madness! I still smile at myself remembering the little mishap!

Stop, pause and listen....

After a loooong absence, I felt I'd ease myself back to this blogosphere with a short tale I heard the other day. It is based on some old North African oral tale that really caught my attention.
There was once a King who had a fiercely loyal Prime Minister. He however was a "Yes" man, and all his responses to the Kings queries would be..."it is ok". For some time, the king was ok, with him , but he started getting worried that he was not getting objective advice from his Prime Minister. The King I presume would have wanted someone to challenge him when he was wrong and to tell him "No" when need be.
As it goes, the king one day got involved in a hunting accident and got injured really bad, leaving him with a huge scar on his leg that gave him some sort of limp. As usual the king asked Mr.Prime Minister..."How do I look?".....
"You look ok", came the almost mechanical reply.
The King was furious! He felt the Prime Minister was being insensitive and rude. Without giving him a chance to explain himself, he tossed him into the deepest darkest dungeon.
After about 3 months, the King decided to go on a voyage. he gathered his troops and with a convoy of ships, went out to sea. He had many an adventure and on one occasion he got to some island where he took the boat and with three bodyguards rowed to the shore ready to explore. No sooner had he landed than he was attacked by the natives who for some unexplained reason had been timing him to get to the shore to attack. They killed his bodyguards, and before his other men could react, quickly spirited him into the hinterland, a thick jungle where they literally vanished. His soldiers searched for him but could not find him.
Meanwhile, the King was taken into a cage and surrounded by the natives. As is custom to them, they were going to sacrifice him to their gods for favours. he could not understand their language, but any idiot would have made out what they meant from their gestures and the fire that was being stoked. Skeletons of other  humans that lay around the sacrificial furnace bore testimony to what was about to befall him. These are the times when you cannot even gather enough strength to cry if you wanted, so he resigned to his fate.
The head cook...or let's call him the High priest dragged the King from his cage still with his hands and feet bound. He prepared his tools of trade (trust me you don't want me to describe them!) and prepared to have the king examined. He took a look at him, spat and cut off the ropes that he had been bound with releasing him to go. The King was perplexed, but he was not going to wait for the Priest to change his mind. He found out that the sacrifice had to be unblemished, and his scar from his hunting trip years back was not acceptable on a sacrifice by his captors. He took off like a bullet daring not to look back as he scattered into the jungle not even sure of where he was going.
From some series of fortunate events, he bumped into his soldiers while running away from what would have been his obvious demise. He went back home and ordered the Prime Minister to be released.
"You were right my friend", he told his Prime Minister, "the scar was actually ok...it saved my life!".
Then he sought to find out how he fared in the dungeons, guilty of what he had subjected him to.
"It was ok", the PM answered him.
The King was confused, but not to make the same mistake again, he sought to find out why his PM reasoned so.
"Well sire", he went on, "had I not been in the dungeons, I would have most certainly been with you when you were captured...and considering I have no scars......"
The King smiled...Now he knew he had one wise aide by his side

Moral of the story.....I think you can fill the void for yourself.

Habanera

I know I am sucker for classics, and this is one of my all-time favourite duets. To be honest I had never really known what the discourse was in the performance (my limited French starts with Bon jour and ends with parlez vous anglais)..Anyway I got to see the lyrics (thank God for Wikipedia) and the thing hits home rather painfully. The Habanera has just been playing in my head the entire afternoon.

si tu ne m'aimes pas, je t'aime

si je t'aime, prends garde à toi! (Prends garde à toi!)

Si tu ne m’aimes pas,

Si tu ne m’aimes pas, je t’aime! (Prends garde à toi!)

Mais, si je t’aime,

Si je t’aime, prends garde à toi!

This rather sums up what experiences...In Anglais this would translate to:

f you love me not, then I love you;

if I love you, you'd best beware! (You'd best beware!)

if you love me not,

if you love me not, then I love you (You'd best beware!)

but if I love you,

if I love you, you'd best beware!

Heh heh heh..This sounds rather forceful, but I am usually a rather diffident and occasionally displaying lassitude in my nature. I believe it is a polite way of telling me niko downest (true by the way) I think if I combine this with my hommy Bangz , I am told madam ataingia box.

But ignoring the lyrics, habanera is a beautiful song. After evaluating my recent threats from various corners, and like they say we men are too proud to ask for directions..lemme get lost a bit then maybe I will be pointed to the right direction in the end or change course altogether. I have been given deadlines on how long I should be seen masquerading as a single bloke, but I am used to the pressure...if i handled the maize guys, ....Anyway the story continues....

If the world ended today....and I never get the chance to say this.

Taking a hard look at the last 3 or so months, some words keep ringing in my head that my good ol' director used to hammer every other day..."To those that much has been given, much will be required"..By then being young, naive and oblivious of our surrounding, I would wonder what this old man meant. I just had my stressful bag of books, assignments to complete. Being associated with my high school was the only "given" I used to see at the time. Life has been a painful, confused journey (from my point of view). I always start something and in the middle of my journey to complete the task or phase of my life, I always stop and ask myself  what the hell I think I am doing. I tend to feel I have never been comfy in the paths I have chosen..I am that square peg constantly finding myself in round holes. Admittedly I have found myself in very interesting company and jobs over the years. My Engineering class in JKU@ (you guys were the bomb by the way!), my colleagues at the Nation Printing plant and the few people I interacted with at Nation house (really learnt a lot from you peeps) and my Kraisis menejment colleagues where am at...(Great group of individuals...though we don't have a life :-)) of kos plus the rest of the other people in the other floors.
Well that said, I still feel that empty feeling of "something's missing...". Yes I just counted my three decade milestone a few weeks back, and the critical audit of me still gives back a qualified statement of affairs. My problem I think stems from my workaholic, "I'll have to get it right by all means possible" attitude. I did some ludicrous subjects in high skool just to prove a point (and suffered in the process), went ahead for another torturous 5 years in campus and came out slightly scathed, did some time as a production engineer and got bored as fast as I built my interest and finally landed at my current abode, where I took up the department's workaholic traits.....plus I embarked on accounts, something I had looked down upon from my teen years.  So now then.... what after after all this? Family?...well I am still as painfully single as I have always been, though with the constant threats from relaz and friends alike that I should correct that (Wish it was that easy!). I live like a robot, wake up, go to the office...work away and get back home when it's dark, telly, and again the process repeats itself the next day. So much for normal life...
Anyways I have always lived like a bird....no plans, leaving the good Lord to take care of my tomorrows and guide my path. Worked well so far, but like I said, I am human and  operate on comfort zones like everyone else, wishing I knew what tomorrow or the next three years would pan out. But as it turns out, I live a day at a time, hoping for the best as the next day unfolds. For you pushing me to get hitched....Ms Right atapatikana one day...I have faith, and am ridiculously patient as well. I have been asked severally who she is, ..maybe al paint the picture next time on a different post.
Just to sum all this noise, I recognise I am lucky, blessed and given the responsibilities from which a lot is expected of me. To those I have let down, poleni...I try the best I can. I fight the good fight like most people, though I usually feel it is more of a brawl in my case with the heavy responsibility I am charged with from time to time. Couldn't have done most of it without my support structures ; family (especially my mum), friends (have the best set one can ask for), church and colleagues. This serves as my note of appreciation if I have never had the chance to tell you this.And the world gladly is yet to end :-)
Someday - Celtic Women

Generation Next...

This has been an interesting beginning to 2011, where recent events have been slowly unfolding and the unthinkable happening. The Arab strongmen are slowly being forced out by their populace, in some places it has been violent (Libya, Yemen, Bahrain) and in some places more civil (Egypt and Tunisia).

As erstwhile strongmen in the developing countries quake in their boots at the power of the 21 century tools at the disposal of the populace, it is interesting to see what the outcome would be of the next two years as the vast world becomes condensed into a small playground where everyone becomes increasingly connected and integrated. The Saudi King to pre-empt any revolt, has showered the populace with goodies and threats at the same time (smooth!)...In a package worth $37bn, looks like he is buying the loyalty of his citizenry with the lavish benefits...$260 a month stipend if you are unemployed!...no wonder the unemployment levels are that high.
Anyway taking a closer look at all these turns of events, the driving force has been the youth. They communicate using twitter, facebook and other social networking platforms, and mobilize in numbers with a resolve to see their efforts at having meaningful leadership bear fruits and their rights to a decent way of life realised with the resources, however small they have.

 If you look at it critically, wasn't it the same youth who liberated Kenya during those colonial days and formed the first government. They were in their twenties, early thirties, etc, and have refused to hand over the baton ever since. What makes them think that the current generation of thirty, twenty something year olds can't hack it like they did. It is just being plain selfish of our leaders.
Like I was told when I was in Primary skool.."you are the leaders of tomorrow"....and then they added ..."tomorrow never comes"...Old age shall surely catch up with all ye old geezers, if not, technology shall make you as redundant as the post office, film cameras and the walkman.

Taking that first step!

I have been telling myself I have to revive some of my old habits, but true to my procrastinating self, I tell myself I will start tomorrow. One thing I know about myself is my reluctance to take that first step. As human beings, we are creatures of habit...we revel in our comfort spots and will not move or try anything new as we have an inherent fear of the unknown. Therefore if you are used to drinking your tea with one spoon of sugar, if there is only half a spoon left in the sugar bowl,...mayhem.

Anyway on to my resolutions and illusions. Back in high school I could do two novels in the space of the five class-going days, and combine it with my schoolwork....umm ok schoolwork was more of an extra-curricular activity back then. So around Jan this year, I formulated a "force me with my resolutions" gimmick. Any time I check into a bookstore or supermarket, I buy a book. Well if there is one thing I know I detest, it is buying something that I don't use. So I have four volumes already of double novels....I promised myself I will catch up on my Grishams...I had stopped at The Brethren, having kept pace with the author of reading his new works whenever he released a new book. Reminds me of campus where we couldn't wait for our resident bootleggers to download the latest episode of Prison Break. The longest piece of literature I had indulged in since the turn of the millennium was my 600 page Advanced Calculus book, that had historical excerpts of how them scientists and mathematicians came up with those weird solutions to age old mathematical problems....

Newton was idle when the apple fell...........I think!

Anyway most of my resolutions are usually made during the period of Lent, and for some reason I usually stick with them for about 30 of the 40 days. I have given up meat and booze and signed up for the local gym (Savings of which I am donating to charity with a small 'c' for clarity...so Charity haupati chochote!). You should try it....I know how difficult it is for especially some chimney friend of mine to kick a habit. I am waiting to see if this next attempt will work.

Day 3 into my resolutions I must say things are looking up. I am almost getting used to the routine, though it has coincided with one of the busiest period for me. Well the hottest furnaces churn out the best iron from the ore. I am ready to face it....So now the reading bit. Well that will be work in progress at this stage, I know once I get that first step out of the way, I will be difficult to stop.
To anyone reading this, have a blessed and solemn Lenten period...and to our Japanese brothers and sisters....pole for the tsunami!

A chance for my vote to have some meaning...for once

I am usually apathetic to politics (I can be very sarcastic by the way when referring to politicians), and this time round just before the world ends in December 2012, we would have cast our votes in August of that year. My plan was to spoil my vote, or identify some non-starter (Chibule wa Tsuma-like) to basically waste my vote on. In the past it has been a case of voting for "the lesser evil"...Even in 2002, when the old regime of Uncle Dan was trying to get in UK to succeed him in the white house on top of the hill, it was the same case...recycled politicians who were not fit to hold any leadership position.

To be honest, other than a few lawmakers, most of them deserve to be lined up and prodded with some sharp object on their backs to walk the plank...pirate style in shark infested waters. As I watch in amusement at the goings on in the Arab world, I wonder silently to myself in that broken American English phrase ... who woulda thunked that?...The strongmen in these Middle East nations looked like they were going to stay in power for the rest of their lives, but things can change in the blink of an eye...one day Mohamed Bouazizi was pushing his cart of fruits and being hassled by the "kanjo" of Tunisia, and the next moment he had set himself on fire and sparked off a chain of events that saw the Tunisian, and Egyptian regimes sent packing....The times they are a changin'

Anyway, for those of us who are almost losing hope when we look at our situation back in Kenya

, we may have something to hold on to. We passed a new constitution, which makes matters at least bearable in some ways, restricting impunity in its own small ways. But the news that got me most optimistic was the decision by one of the few beacons in the August house to run for the BIG job..step forward Gatanga MP, the most Honorable Peter Kenneth. I have always been silently praying that a revolution of young leaders with the right intentions when gunning for public office come to the fore and do things "the way they are supposed to be done", and I am

sure residents of Gatanga will never be blinded by retrogressive politics from now on...if you can't demonstrate what value you are adding to the community you are representing, you are of no use to them, and they will ensure they get someone who responds to their needs and assists in finding solutions, not necessarily solving them.

Whatever he may have done in the past that I know not of, I really don't give a hoot...he has so far demonstrated service to the community, willingness to deal with development projects to alleviate poverty and non-involvement in hollow verbal exchanges and political plots. So sir, don't bother campaigning to me....you already have my vote! My prayer is you get there and make a "Gatanga" out of our beloved country.

So the journey begins mimi nitafanya pro-bono campaigns for this young man, and hopefully he will surround himself with like minded people (like he said to a few of us the other day) to propel us to where we are supposed to be...Kenya deserves better than what we currently have!

Feb the 14th....

Lemme join the bandwagon and say something about the day of the red stuff!...It is Feb 14th, and just like October 31st, just another day on the calendar for me. It is interesting that about 15 or so years ago, there was never such great furore(thought I'd be a bit fancy there also) about this non-gazetted 'holiday'. The office today was busy with activity as flowers kept coming in and dispersed to some lucky lass. The office bought these humongous 5 kg cakes for the folks and gave the women folk a full breakfast, more cake and a new 'club-house' for them...all this time my Ghanaian boss swung all the ladies on my floor those Ghanaian chocolates, all this time we, the men folk just stared in amusement and with a sense of injustice...anyway, had my share of stuffing myself silly with cake (white forest is the bomb!).

Back to the day. I know a few friends of mine who dread the day like it was an Ebola outbreak. one was so elated he was off to some foreign country some days before, therefore having an excuse not to do anything that day...."Mkisii kama mimi!"...well I know he would say that when "she" is not around to amuse the boys and appear tough. In campus, the red signified another ritual, which we aptly called "kumwaga damu!". I have only paid for one valentine's day, and it was not amusing.

There I was in my room in Hall 3, busy doing my assignments as I watched my roomy shuttle in and out preparing an elaborate valentines experience for his better half. After half a dozen showers and a run around campus laying some treasure-hunt clues, he was set. Now me having no better half to run around for, and being entertained by my roomy all this while was content nto to go through all this stress. then one of my other boys came around, let's call him Simo to put things into context. Now Simo had vowed he was not going to "mwaga damu" this time round, but my roomy's chick lived in the same room with Simo's chick. So when the first flowers rolled in for my roomy's chick, the obvious reaction from Simo's chick was to ask.."what about me?....Simo must be preparing something grand for me..a surprise!" Now is where the troubles started. Simo was broke, and he did not want to disappoint his chick, so he came to yours truly....did I say I funded one valz in my life prior to today?...well I was funding Simo, and he promised to pay back the advance...now six hundred bob at that time in campo was a substantial amount, and am still awaiting Simo to pay me.

Anyway Simo tries to put his act together, buys those inflatedly priced rose flowers, which was dessicated from the Feb sun by the time he was buying them..there was the AICAD dinner still waiting (now AICAD was our local 3-star place to take someone on a date in good ol Juja or for those of us not lucky enough to have anyone fancying us, ..the place to spoil yourself and kill off whatever remained of your allowance, what we called going broke in style!) AICAD was not necessarily cheap for an average campo bloke, and the day gobbled whatever remained of funds Simo and my roomy had (walimwaga damu kweli kweli!) The rest of the week we were all on bursary and beans! And I never got any benefit from the day!

Moving on swiftly, I think if I was forced to, I would go for the discounted 15th or 16th Feb valz..I know am a cheap-skate, but you get value for money, and i can't eat flowers!

Waste of resources

It pains me whenever the media has all these mercy missions trying to raise funds to aid some village in Pokot or some place in Makueni who are being ravaged by drought and famine. And it always seems by coincidence that this takes place in January or February when the dry season is at it's zenith. Like all human beings, most of us relate to the here and now. If it is hot and you talk of drought or famine, I will simply look at the sky..Yup the bloody sun is hot, check the thermometer dial..check!..38 degrees and counting! We seem to quickly forget that it was not more than two months or so before this that we were all complaining that the rainfall was too much, or that it was too cold. Food security projections chuck and we are all told how there will be a deficit in the food needed to feed the nation...palease!...maize does not grow and whither in a month! I feel that there is usually some scheme by some very smart fellas to use the prevailing conditions to hoodwink most of us...that is unless of course the other hypothesis below holds any water. I also saw tomato farmers in Nakuru experiencing a glut, and reducing prices of their produce by 25%..so where is this famine? The blind belief that maize is the only food we can eat as Kenyans is also silly to some extent. When we had a "famine" last time, and had to import maize, world wheat prices were far much lower than maize..why didn't we import wheat instead of maize?

I am also tempted to think that we as Kenyans never learn from past mistakes and experiences and are too lazy to make an attempt to make things right. For instance. Just last year when the rains were pounding the country, our reservoirs were full spilling water everywhere. There was talk of expanding them, dredging the damn things (no pun intended) and then when we get the chance, we remain comfortable, do nothing about it and then we'll complain of low water levels and the need for power rationing. Our planning is at best pathetic. There is also the issue of livestock...it is a case of "bitten many times, never shy!". Kwani every year you will have your livestock dying and you don't do anything to avoid the same next time?This thing of "tunaomba serikali itusaidie" should stop, we should suggest solutions not seek assistance each and every time!

I was once in Lusaka (I would equate it to Naks), and there was one thing they were doing that really jazzed me and I was wondering why we have never thought in such lines...It was around August, just before their rainy season, and the council workers were busy clearing the drainage systems around the city. "You don't want the drains blocked when the rains come....Lusaka is pretty flat, so we make sure all waterways are clear of any debris." I was told. When I came back to good ol' Nairobbery, I could see the way soil, leaves, and all forms of debris was choking our drainage. I may not be an authority on this subject, but from observation, most roads get spoiled whenever they flood. All manner of junk gets onto the road, and the grinding effect scours away the tarmac with much more ease...i.e. in summary, blocked drainage=lower road life. If we had maybe 3 out of ten in our public service units where such critical foresight and action is required, believe me we'd be better of. In our current crop of politicians, there are only two leaders I can sieve out of the chaff...note the deliberate use of the terms "politicians" and "leaders"...Stand up and be counted Mr. Peter Kenneth (please run for president I vote for you!) and one Mr Johnson Muthama of Kangundo (pays his taxes)...

We also tend to be comfortable with the status quo....but we are all too aware of what may happen if the middle class had enough like Tunisians and Egyptians.

Signing off on my angry note!

Grifters in high places

First of 2011....It's been busy, so I hadn't gotten time to jot down anything. I have been exploring some interesting information on my pet subject (corruption). Interesting happenings around the globe towards tackling the vice also caught my eye and got me thinking...we aren't that bad after all...it is only the magnitude that differs and the sums involved. This i can illustrate by one of my favourite stories on corruption.

There were two Civil Engineering students from Malaysia and Nigeria, Aang' and Ayedepo (Sorry I had to use these examples...no offense intended!) who were bosom buddies in England where they pursued their undergraduate degrees with enthusiasm....They were just starting off on life and had big dreams on what they would do with their lives once unleashed onto the world. Well as it always happens, it was time to part ways as they completed their studies. Aang' and Ayedepo promised to keep in touch as they went back to their respective countries.

By coincidence, both were employed by their respective governments in the ministries dealing with road and infrastructure construction. Two years after they parted ways, Ayedepo now an assistant Engineer in his State receives an invitation from his friend Aang' to visit him in Malaysia. Aang' had arranged everything..and I mean evary-thang!Business class tickets to Kuala Lumpur, a limousine to pick him up from the airport to his mansion in the leafy suburbs of Damansara Heights. Ayedepo was awe-struck as he walked around with his mouth wide open at all the pleasures of life his good friend Aang' had managed to amass in just under two years. half a dozen sports cars were neatly parked in his garage and the compound had the state of the art security system.

Then Ayedepo asked the obvious question,.."Aang'..how did you come across all this in under two years?"...Aang' laughed and pointed to the bridge that connects the mainland to the Pulau Indah industrial park..."See that bridge?" he asked..

.."Oh yeah..", replied Ayedepo, as Aang' proceeds to rub his belly.....

.."10%..",Aang says while laughing.

Ayedepo never forgot the good time he had in Malaysia as Aang' gave him a tour of a lifetime. On getting back home, he took a year and extended a similar invitation to Aang' . Aang' being used

to the trappings of wealth was pleasantly surprised to get a first class ticket to Lagos and from Lagos was picked up by a chopper to ferry him to Ayedepo's ranch. Ayedepo had a 100 hectare ranch complete with an artificial lake and a country castle to boot. As the chopper landed, Aang' was led past an environmentally controlled garage that housed a dozen super cars and the occasional Bentley and Rolls Royce. Even before he could take in anymore, Aang' patted Ayedepo on the back when he finally met him...."My good friend Ayedepo...that was quick! How did you do all this in less than two years?..."

Ayedepo was still laughing trying to catch his breath as he motioned to his friend Aang'..."Aang' my dear friend, you taught me a lot when I swung by Kuala Lumpur the last time we met...Do you see that road?..." he said pointing into the horizon..

"What road?.." replied Aang' struggling to see what his friend was pointing at..Ayedepo proceeded to rub his belly.."100%.."

Moral of the story you may ask...This story unfortunately has no morals, but the drift of it is that everywhere in the world unfortunately, the vice exists and it is only the degree of abuse and the level of exposure of those guilty of engaging in the vice (the ones who get caught they say!) that varies. BAE systems for example in the UK involved over £2bn yes...pounds! thats about KES 260bn in fishy payments exchanging hands in the now infamous Al Yamamah contract (It was worth £80bn by the way!)...and what happened to the investigations? well after some veiled threats from the Saudis involved in the contract of not cooperating in the fight against terror and sharing information with the UK, "In public" interest, the Serious Fraud Office, an apparently independent body in the UK that fights graft was prevailed upon to discontinue the investigations. The anti-fraud section of the OECD (Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development) to which the UK is a member did raise eyebrows and officially wrote a protest letter on the blatant disregard by the British government in curtailing the fraud investigations on account of safeugarding national and international security. (You can watch a video of this BAE case on the link below)

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/blackmoney/view/?utm_campaign=searchpage&utm_medium=videosearch&utm_source=videosearch?autoplay

Anyway I hope the IMF and World Bank sanction the UK sometime in the future over this heh heh heh....