Monday 8 November 2010

Silence therapy

For some time now I have been operating like a zombie, taking each day as it comes oblivious of my sorroundings' going ons. I lacked direction, motivation or sense of purpose, basically a robot if I may call my state of being in this time. Plenty of things were happening around me, and my indifference was worrying some people close to me. I had a thousand and one "why" queries, no one to ask, or rather I kept them to myself. I know I am an introvert, so I let time deal with my problems.
Anyway if I appeared grumpy to you, annoyingly distant or just plain snobbish, just know I was trying to sit down and come to terms with my mental turmoil. Well it is that time of the year when everything is hurried so that guys meet their holiday deadlines and have a stress free Xmas. That's beside the point.
I have been struggling with some information similar in kind, but in two separate instances, that I stumbled upon. In each case, I have two people on either side of the issue. I am then placed between a rock and a hard place as the conflicting parties are what I consider people close to myself and each require me to side with them. If i keep quiet about it, I will get a shellacking, if I open my mouth on either side it does not bode well with either side. For once there is no fence to sit on, so you can imagine the mental drain as I try the thousand and one permutations in dealing with this. I know the therapy for this is usually speaking to someone about it, whether they give you any solutions or they don't...so long as it is out there, there is usually some relief from the mental burden.
This situation got me thinking either way, sometimes being diplomatic/ politically correct can leave you in a position that is pretty difficult. I value friends, and I usually don't have a particular ranking for them, but when there is a fallout and am thrust to the fore to side with one of them,...my natural instinct is to run away from both, and if I bump into either of them...smile and wave..... Coward?...maybe, but alive as they say we live longer.