Neighbourhood watch

It's been long since I went for those neighbourhood committee meetings that characterise most estates. I live in a pretty large one for normal standards, and in such numbers you find a healthy variety of characters, from the combatant and possessive guys who "own" certain parking slots, to the nonchalant "yes" men, even the odd graphic "tell it as it is" daktari.

Anyway just before the fist fights and the odd drunk guy who wanted to comment on everything, the agenda was set by the chairman (I swear it was the first time I was seeing the bloke!). Security, Committee fees (It can not dare miss!), the Audited accounts, and A.O.B (where all the drama unfolds)

Moving on swiftly to A.O.B, we had already discussed at length the security concerns, and how this being the countdown to the holidays the thugs are also ramping up their activity to have enough to celebrate with their loved ones, a concept pregnant with irony. People gave random ideas however impractical, after all it is an open and democratic forum....Hire more watchies (baton in a gunfight....hmmm! that will really help), have the watchie stopping ALL vehicles getting into the main gate (there was a learned friend who proposed stickers on resident vehicles who was shouted down coz of costs. Anywayin the end, no consensus, but a lot of arguments.

Coming to the contributions, committee fees, et al...The financials were read so fast and sketchily and a disclaimer of the accounts having been audited and are transparent thrown in for good measure ("Receipts = KShs X, We spent KShs Y, and we have 6,000 bob remaining...and we had this audited....").

Moving to the AOB, we had complaints of 15 year olds having closed school and should be monitored...(Damn it, are we the parents?....if the brat has hormonal imbalance, it will sort itself out), Someone threw garbage at his neighbour's doorstep..heh heh heh Now that was funny. Me being in the penthouse, there is only one culprit in such a case, so am safe. The victim at least saw the house-help responsible, picked up the garbage bag and dumped it right back at the front door of the aggressor (I would have emptied the contents as well!) There were those agitating for an estate bash, the teetotalers canvassing fro a tea party and the alcoholics wanting the option of coming with their own bottles/kegs/drums. No sooner had we started discussing this, some conservatives started invoking NEMA and how we should not go ahead with the bash, but instead get a permit from them for those of us intending to celebrate (That is when I knew you are only allowed to have a bash upto 11pm or else get a permit if you want to extend). Well somebody made an interesting observation..."Maybe he does not want to pay anything..amesota! Wacha wale wetu waliobarikiwa na pesa tujivinjari (which loosely translates to how broke the dude must be, he's just looking to hide behind excuses..Let those of us blessed with moolah to spend it however we please!)

As the entertainment progresses, mother nature intervened and dumped the cloud contents on us as we scampered for shelter. Another day maybe we'll get to finish what was started. An I Lied...there were no fist fights..yet!