August woes and my new resolutionz

August as one of my friends would say is one disaster of a month. Nothing good ever comes of it. Looking back into past years, his theory may well hold some water....The August 8th debacle by Osama, the August 12th house (parliament), most people I lost somehow expired in August, and the Sudanese prezzo visited Kenya in August. I missed my promulgation holiday in August, just to name a few.

Anyway I have had a torrid end to that month, topped by some nasty flu bug that has been doing the rounds in the office this recent past. Now I pride my immune system for rubbishing some of these infections and going makmende whenever some cold threatens to cut me down to size. Well I think my immune system was getting too corky. Enter Super Flu X4BG79$#..something ..something virus! Needless to say I had been a cabbage...congested throat, fever, wobbly knees, stress at jobo, you name it!

Well as I crawled through the month, coughing and spitting my lungz out, I thought to myself...I was never this sickly when I was a sporty character and I used to run around religiously. When I went to the hospitali, and in the process of checking my weight, pressure and temperature, the dial on the weighing machine groaned as it swung to regions on the scale it last reached when it was undergoing quality tests. Then came one of my many resolutions for the month of September....al reduce my kilos, and keep a fitter regime. I have enrolled for the "roof of Africa" climb in December, to that effect.

So the fitter me will be seen in a place near you soon.

Blackberrryyyy!!!!

Wednesday 2pm...I was bored senseless with a nagging report I was trying to get rid of from my desk and a not so good looking outlook into my evening. Then I get a call from my small bro (been asked why I call him Wacko Jacko...I really don't know..the name stuck!)..Anyhow he asks "Kwani today you aint popping for the K'ogalo game?" I am a Gor ultra (violently fanatic supporters associated with the Juve club of Turin) and i did not need a second asking...."Nunulia mimi tikiti bwana!", I told Wacko. My plan was to go home , change into my green K'ogalo jersey and dash for the floodlit match in Nyayo stadium. I estimated leaving the office at 6pm would afford me sufficient time to speed up Langata road and back....As usual , whenever I make such plans, traffic makes its own plans...to cut the long story short, I found myself heading into the stadi win my suit (ok, I chucked the coat and tie to blend in.

I found Wacko waiting for me. He had bought me and my cousin (Mr.Sio) tickets to the main stand. This time round unlike the Ingwe match, there were no hitches checking into the stadi. The main stand as usual was packed to the rafters, with the K'ogalo faithful breaking into chants and their usual anthem..K'ogalooo...Goooor..Gor Mahia..K'ogalo eeeh, Gor timbe duto yuakni!.. which translates loosely to Son of Ogalo..Gor Mahia..all teams cry for you! The Liverpool legend Ian Rush was in attendance, and we was in for a PARTY!

As usual Jalas, the radio presenter was in his element conducting the choir of ultraz as they set the stands ablaze with their chants. Gor did not disappoint and dominated the soldiers as they made them chase shadows all over the pitch. The soldiers (as is expected of one) had a solid defence (not too solid though) and midway through the first half, Gor had scored , rattled the crossbar and had been caught offside a trailer-load of times.

Second half had its own drama. After the halftime entertainment from the chanting k'ogalo fans, Gor had a player sent off and the coach sent to the stands (he had strayed from his technical area to be honest and was protesting too much to the ref)..This had the K'ogalo fans baying for the ref's blood as some started hurling missiles into the pitch! Game was temporarily stopped as the ref gathered "evidence" and the linesman got hit by something flung from the terraces. Somehow play resumed, and ten man Gor managed to get the soldiers on the counter with Blackberry waltzing through almost five men including the goalie and slotting a second to send the crowd into a maaad frenzy! At this point, the ref was forgiven (I think)

Well Gor closes the gap on the top of the table now, Can't wait for the next one!

Gor biro..yawne yoo!....Gor biro..yawne yoo!

Random stuff

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."..This is an actual quote from a basketball player in some Uni team. I wonder how he managed to get into Uni in the first place, but I need not point out the obvious in this case.

Have you ever sat and wondered what mechanism some people's brains engage before they speak or even do something. Well, I guess I suffer from the "look before you leap" syndrome which though a good trait, holds you back from plenty of experiences. It is usually painful, especially if you lack patience, to sit and listen to people who think they know it all make a mess of things and you can't do anything about it, moreso if it is your boss or a guy bigger than you who wouldn't mind showing you how brawn beats brain...literally.

It reminds me of when I weighed 30 or so kgs and was at the receiving end of some terrifying primary school bullies. I was four feet nothing, but extremely satirical getting away with subtle smart-ass statements at those I could not match in biscep size. Anyway..I dare them now to flex their bisceps and issue those threats of theirs.... niwatandike kama nyoka! While they exercised their bisceps, I exercised the muscle between my ears, becoming a smarty pants whose homework got copied by the bullies (protection money is not only a mafia concept you know!) Not that I completed my homework all the time. Reminds me one time when I hadn't done my homework and some dudes wanted my books to dub. I couldn't concentrate on my work with them hovering over my head and snatching my book every now and then, so I told everyone I wasn't going to do it ..tuchapwe sisi wote na mwalimu leo..Anyway, with ten minutes to the bell ringing for parade and onto the first lesson (when homework was checked and punishment dished out in generous proportions), I did the last ten sums which was enough to fill about three pages. The trick was do the first ten sums, skip s few blank pages, do the last ten sums and be very nifty when the teacher comes to check your work. You point to the text book where the first sums are visible, then you flip the pages expertly to the final pages pointing to where you have completed. I was a teachers' pet, so there was some level of trust (ok maybe it was because they never saw the point punishing me for stuff I already knew anyway..but do I say!) So everyone knew we were all going to get the beat today, well as it turned out, the teacher would come check your book and anyone whose work appeared incomplete would remain standing at his desk. After going through all our books, It was Eric and the girls who remained seated (someone tell me why only chicks in Primo always completed their homework all the time!) Anyway I got very angry eyes thrown my way (if it were a solid, you would cut right through it!) While the teacher was going round after falling for my tricks, I would fill in the gaps in the interim. For about twenty minutes, she went around dishing on the spot justice. Good thing is boys never snitch no matter the circumstances, so I would get away with it, and hide in the toilets over break time to avoid the hunt that was on for me for not aiding the first bodie with his homework. The funniest thing would be when I was asked to come to the board and show others how I did a particular sum (which I had not done in the first place). I would carry my exercise book to the board, open some random page and pretend to be copying the contents onto the board, in the meantime, I worked out the some from scratch..and that's how dishonesty got my brain thinking at such ridiculous speeds.

Anyway, this was a work of fiction....I never did my homework, I was never bullied in Primary skool ( i was actually the bully) and i got beaten like a snake by teachers more often than I can remember...but the homework thing was true..worked every time like a charm! Was just thinking..what if I did this at that time.

Internal combustion madness!

The madness that is driving in Nairobi has gotten most of us behaving like thugs and adapting to it. I doubt anyone remembers the days when you were squashed in that driver's seat with an instructor on the passenger seat shouting "kanyaga mafuta...usiachilie kiratchi namumna hiyo!". More often than not you would get bullied by other drivers in traffic when they spotted the red "L" stuck on the car windows. Man,..life was hell. Then the sweating and trembling when doing that driving test. Anyways, after a few weeks of driving you become a makmende, climbing kerbs, cutting lanes without indicating, ..the works!

Matatus, and the worst of them being the Hoppers, have this habit of bullying people off the road, scratching your paintwork, denting your bumpers, etc. So guys are scared of them. On Sunday I was very proud of myself the way I dealt with one ruffian (learnt that from my boss who has a car with like thirty dents...each with it's own story - I collect stamps,... he collects dents). Lights are red, and we all stop. Well...not all of us. The mat@2 jumps onto the kerb and tries to squeeze to the front of the queue (where I was) and jump the lights. I made sure there was hardly any space for him to squeeze through, and the bugger starts hooting. Well, I ignored him, after flipping him the bird. The guy was outraged and when the light were just turning tried to accelerate and push me off the road...Thanks to my Need for Speed skills on the playstation, I evaded the dude as he almost dislodged my side-mirror. "Hasira, hasara!"..Road rage aint a good thing, and the mat@2 met another idiot jumping lights on the other side and bazinga! collision right tharr. I braked, smiled at the frustrated conductor who had now alighted as the cops strolled towards them. Not wanting to be involved in witness statements, I slowly pulled away from the spot, very happy with the outcome. I am no masochist, but it did serve them right.

Somebody (like an old neighbour I used to have) should work with a horsewhip, to teach those guys on-the-spot for basic traffic transgressions. Fines don't work that good. Maybe flogging for traffic offences will reduce the madness.

As I walked down the road at set of sun...

The rest of that song goes like.." the lambs were coming homeward one by one!". Reminds me of my rabble days in High skool, when we used to go through the rigours of compulsory choir practice. this particular piece was a Christmas carol. Anyway got me to appreciate music in all its forms (except lingala). Back to my yule-tide melody (ok Christmas...don't split hairs on this one). There is an element of closure, end of the day, close of a chapter and the birth of Christ in the song, we have some new beginning. Moved house the other day, which usually comes with several adjustments to adapt to the new surroundings. I have lovely neighbours by the way, and still border the Shire of Kibira!

I have made some resolutions (8 months too late), and I aim to stick with them in this spirit of renewal. Of new beginnings, I was slapping myself into reality the other day, reflecting on how short life is. In the space of a week, I had lost both a cousin, and a grandfather. A real sad turn of events. Well death does not discriminate, and we will all fall victims at our appointed time.Me and my procrastinating self got me thinking, ...anything can happen at anytime and the things I have been postponing may never be accomplished. I have several "vision 2015s and 2020s", and time is flying by. Hopefully without chewing more than I can swallow, I will start ticking off my "to-do" list.

Hopefully al get my act together and stick to my schedule. If you want to know more "nipate kando nikupashe uhondo!"

Missionary, mercenary or misfit?

Heard this funny tale today about how guys in Europe were viewed whenever they decided on a career change to move to Africa. Anyone who was coming down to Africa was either a missionary, mercenary or a misfit. My atheist friends would tell of how the European came to Africa initially with a bible...we had the land, and when he said let us close our eyes and pray, when we opened them, we were holding the bible and they had the land.

My favourite topic well..perspectives. What do you think you are doing when deciding on a path to follow. We sometimes make radical decisions and delve into the unknown, and it is fortitude and being firm and steadfast in sticking to your decisions that ultimately makes the difference. As they say, nothing comes easy. the harder it is, the sweeter the rest at the end. This does not mean you suffer blindly in the name of "stickability", a term coined by one famous Griffin in one of his career talks back in the day. If HE is beating you day in day out, abusing you and giving you a few (ok maybe a lot of) broken limbs, give up and look for something better. Perseverance is good, but it also has its limits. If that piece of work is making you mentally unstable from the stress...is it really worth it. Maybe you have a plan, that may excuse the "stickability" element, but weigh and think through what's best for you in the long run.

Don't ask me why I don't follow my own advice...well mganga hajigangi and there has to be someone who acts as an example, good or bad.

So do you think I am a missionary, mercenary or a misfit?..niambie nisikie

Be grateful for what you have and careful what you wish for

I have had a week of leave (very rare where I come from) and though it turned out to be about half that time, I got to reflect on my own life. Prayed about it too (I know this sounds funny, but yes, I do pray to be grateful for all the happenings in my life and my family's as well as asking for direction from our Father...Whoever knows me really well knows what I am talkin' about). As I looked back at my life, a few things were thrust to the fore that appear to replicate each other in their timing and what they mean.

Back in '98, I think I was the last fella to be made SHP (I wont elaborate on the initials..a bit embarrasing) Others had already gone through the trainings and had a helping hand in running their respective areas of concern. me on the other hand, my guide as it were was non existent, and I had 80 odd heads to look after. This was learning the hard way, with no proper guidance and seeing that I was to be "Father of the Mother house" on an anniversary year, the pressures were extreme. I had no choice...couldn't run away from responsibility and had to toughen up. Bottom line, I survived '99 and lived to tell the tale.

Fast forward 2009...ok rolling into 2010. Very difficult life in a decimated department which meant an almost vertical learning curve (dy/dx tending to one for the Engineers). Then we got propelled at breakneck speeds to levels of responsibility that I for one to be honest was not prepared for. So as I sat discussing this with some very close friend of mine (anajijua) I explained how I found my situation unlucky whereas others thought I had a silver spoon. In a way that person maybe right, but there is another side to the coin, which will take some one and a half or two years for me to come to terms with. I appreciate the challenges I get thrown at and the blessings (though it takes time to identify them as such and appreciate them for what they are)

As they say life aint easy, but al eat it with a BIG spoon and take time to reflect on it.